Economy

Cynicism is a sin in the Age Of Hope. But cynics won't go gently into the goody good night. . . .

The federal government has tried almost everything in its various bids to get undocumented immigrants out of the country. Now it's trying something simple and unusual: just asking them to please leave.

The global financial system is about to collapse because the U.S. dollar is about to collapse. The U.S. dollar is about to collapse because of a simple economic fact that no one has the power to change or conceal.

On July 4 I woke up in Pennsylvania, in a mansion which had served as a station on the Underground Railroad, that network of people and places which helped slaves escape their bondage before and during the Civil War. And I thought that, with the replacement of yesterday's chattel slavery with today's universal bondage, it may be time for a new Underground Railroad.

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama not only wants to raise the price of your gas, he wants to raise the price of your food. Not to mention tax you to death for the privilege.

President George W. Bush on Friday signed an executive order requiring federal contractors to verify the employment eligibility status of federal contractors and subcontractors.

Back in April (it seems like an eon of Clinton ago!) FBI Director Robert Mueller gave a speech to the American Bar Association titled "Corporate Fraud and Public Corruption: Are We Becoming More Crooked?" The question was left open. Mueller wrapped up with a Teddy Roosevelt quote: "Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual, and of nations alike."

It's May again, that time of year when the Department of Homeland Security hands out millions of dollars of your hard-earned money to whoever it wants for the strangest of reasons, or none at all, in the name of "infrastructure protection." Today's stupid spending: $184,415 for a casino shuttle.

If "Truth is treason in the empire of lies," as Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas) writes in his new book, The Revolution: A Manifesto, then Paul has certainly committed treason by laying out the truth of the precarious state of the United States in 2008.

After the last few resistors departed in 2006, Corcoran Jennison, the preferred developer for the Fort Trumbull project, got cracking on a tony utopia. A thousand condos bloomed. Crowds of affluent young professionals now sip lattes and tap laptops in cafes overlooking the Long Island Sound. Revenues are rolling in. Property taxes have been slashed and children are learning to read and write as well as kids did a half century ago.

The real squeal:

Transportation Security Administration rules are to blame for the conditions leading up to an accidental discharge of a U.S. Airways pilot's pistol during landing, say airline pilots familiar with the program.

Federal government employees spent millions of dollars of taxpayer money using their government purchase cards to pay for questionable items such as Internet dating services, Brooks Brothers suits, expensive steak dinners, personalized iPods, computers, and more, and much of the expensive electronic equipment has been lost or stolen, according to Congressional investigators.

"What are you working on today, Madam President?" asked Doctor Murchison.

"My plan to fix the housing crisis," said Hillary, without looking up.

Jeez. The Clinton Obama show is killing comedy. Great jokes are getting lost in the sauce. Did you hear the one about Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke? Ben walks into a bar. A pair of antlers on his head. "Been cuckolded, mister?" asks a chippy, trying for a pickup. The bartender (a squirrelly guy with no chin) answers for Ben. "Nah -- he's just worried about stagflation."

Not.

Albany. The capital of New York. The heart of state government. Can't you feel the rhythm of the beat? Lub dub lub dub. Pols who make it there, don't need to go anywhere -- they can stay in Albany forever and ever and ever. The governor's mansion is akin to the hotel in "The Shining." After taking over, the new guy always goes barmy. He doesn't even have to live in it. Just throw an occasional reception.